Martial King’s Retired Life – Vol. 1 Ch. 20



Translator Comments: And that’s 7 chapters this week. I’m really trying my best to pump out as much as I can. The text load for this series suddenly almost doubled so I may not get 6 or more chapters next week. To set a goal, which I’ll now be accountable for since I’m announcing it, I’m going to try and break into the Rank #1000 or higher on novel updates this month. Here’s a question for you, how does a teenage NASCAR driver, drive better than us, when we’ve been driving for longer?

 

Liu Shan Men’s Elite Rankings

Boss Shen looked at us like: “Would I be asking you if I knew?” so I immediately obediently answered: “That naughty boy is probably training and lost track of time.” That was the only excuse I could think of so that’s what I said. After I said that, I gave Su Xiao who was staring at me completely astonished a little kick.

Su Xiao forced himself to play along with my nonsense: “That’s right… Brother Yan Ling is very focused on martial arts training so he might’ve forgotten about the meeting. I… I’ll go get him now.”

Shen Yiren waved her hand and said: “Forget it. It’s good that he’s dedicated to his martial arts training. Just leave him to it. Just pass on to him my message.”

“Understood.”

Shen Yiren didn’t beat around the bush and got straight to the point in an orderly fashion, which was very characteristic of her: “You three are official members of Liu Shan Men starting today. Let me ask you, what is your evaluation of how our constables usually work?”

The teacher’s pet, Su Xiao raised his hand to answer: “Arrest bad people, help good people, as well as helping the people.”

A village chief basically does what you just mentioned, why would they need you for those jobs?

Shen Yiren couldn’t help but laugh: “We don’t need to do that sort of stuff, but generally speaking, you’re close. Our purpose is to punish evil on behalf of heaven and preserve the peace. We’re also tasked with upholding the law and traditions. The Qilin Guards and the royal family are already maintaining law and order. The Qilin Guards also contribute towards preserving the peace, but as for punishing evil…”

Shen Yiren pointed at the shiny plague in front of the Vermillion hall with the phrase “Punish evil on behalf of heaven” written on it.

“That plaque was gifted to us by the emperor whom founded the kingdom. It is the number one principle we abide to here at Liu Shan Men, so we must punish evil even if it conflicts with the other two goals, understood?”

Su Xiao’s face turned red and got all giddy when he heard her as he excitedly said: “Yes ma’am!”

How gullible. Do you have any sisters in your family who are slightly smarter than you? Give me three hours and I’ll trick them into becoming my wives. I don’t want one as stupid as you because I’m afraid of the possibility that my offspring will turn out as stupid as you…

“Good.”

Shen Yiren gave a satisfied nod.

“That’s good. I won’t waste my breath on needless words. Go see Sir Sui for your mission. I hope to see you two listed on the Liu Shan Men’s Elites list.”

“Understood!”

Su Xiao then timidly asked: “But uhh… Vice-captain, what’s Liu Shan Men’s Elites ranking?”

“You don’t know? Feizhen, do you know?”

“I’m not too sure…”

Boss Shen clearly didn’t have the patience to explain it, so she waved her hand and said: “Well, get one of the guards to explain it to you. After that, go see Sir Sui.”

I actually do know; that’s why I don’t want to hear it.

Liu Shan Men’s Elites ranking was a system created by the royal court to rank skilled fighters.

Liu Shan Men were the bodyguards of the dynasty’s founder during the founding days. They served him with their lives and offed countless tyrants. That is why he specially created the ranking system. He then had the top three fighters act as the leaders, and gave them the titles: Ying Long (Lit. Responsive Dragon), Qing Lin (Lit. Blue Unicorn), and Fei Yu (Lit. Flying Fish).

These three creatures, I mean, elites hold influential positions in the royal court. But since there can only be one captain for Liu Shan Men, the three had to decide on the role by comparing their martial skills. The three of them had an Earth-shattering battle in the Beihai which lasted for seven days and seven nights before there was a victor.

Fei Yu defeated the other two and emerged as the victor, thereby becoming the leader of Liu Shan Men. That’s why the uniforms of Liu Shan Men have a flying fish sewn onto it even now. Even Tang Ye’s purple constable uniform has it.

The other two got mad after they lost and promptly left Liu Shan Men. They leveraged their previous impressive accomplishments to ask the emperor at the time for two posts, thus creating the current system with emperor’s security detail and the Qilin Guards.

Ying Long went on to found the group comprising of the emperor’s security detail, while Qing Lin went on to form the Qilin Guards. What was originally used to rank those in Liu Shan Men became a ranking system for all three squads.

It’s said that the ranking lists the top fifty fighters across the three squads. Once you’re ranked in the top fifty, officials will be sure to ask you to deal with matters in the martial world. Just remember that it’s impossible for anyone to completely remove themselves from matters in the martial world.

According to a guard’s explanation, it sounded like it was quite easy to get ranked. All you had to do was complete enough missions, arrest enough thieves, and beat up enough bandits in the pugilistic world. Martial prowess ranking my ass. More like the rankings for those who slaved away the most.

What should I do? I really don’t want to get ranked. There’s no benefit to getting ranked.

What, you don’t believe me?

There are plenty of these types of rankings in ‘The Black and White Reflection’. The most famous rankings in it are the Martial Masters, and the Ultimate Beauties rankings. The Ultimate Beauties ranking ranks the beauties in the martial world, which are divided into two categories: (A) Beauty and (B) Fragrance. I think Boss Shen is ranked third in the Beauty category… I only found that out yesterday.

The Martial Masters ranking is as the name suggests a ranking for the most skilled martial artists, which employs a top 100 system. But since there are winners and losers in every fight, the rankings for it change daily.

My shifu, the Demon Sect leader Ximen Chuideng and Liu Shan Men’s captain Yan Shisan took turns competing with each other to get into the top ten, but it was all for naught. Ximen Chuideng had a terrible reputation for killing people like it was a necessity for him to live like oxygen is. My shifu… His reputation is worse than he is as a person! And who knows whose toilet Yan Shisan is scrubbing these days.

If those in the top ten of the Martial Masters ranking are leading shitty lives like that, what makes you think there’s any worth in making the rankings?

I reluctantly went to Sir Sui’s office in a small courtyard with the little brat Su Xiao, whose eyes were gleaming with joy. Sir Sui is an official at Liu Shan Men’s own ministry of personnel, and is mainly responsible for regulating Liu Shan Men’s Elites rankings.

We saw a big fat eunuch sprinkling dirt onto the flowers in the courtyard as soon as we entered the courtyard.

If my memory does me justice, Sir Sui is a eunuch…

The current rules during this dynasty state that a eunuch can become an official if he is willing to study and take the exams, so Su Xiao and I weren’t surprised.  The two of us stepped forward and courteously said: “Greetings, Sir Sui.”

Sir Sui turned around and said with a smile: “Please don’t stand on ceremony. I assume you two know who I am since you’re here. I’m Sui Tu Wan.”

What?

Three, two, one?**

Your father is a foreigner? I’m lost…

Glossary

*Ying Long = Responsive Dragon (A winged dragon and rain deity in Chinese mythology); Qing Lin = Blue Unicorn; Fei Yu = Flying Fish. I’m going with the Pinyin, because calling someone “Responsive Dragon” is…

**Sui Tu Wan is pronounced: Sooee Too One, and hence 3, 2, 1 in English

 

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