Incongruous Verbal Warfare
Captain Song spoke in a stern tone: “What do you mean by that, your highness?” Liu Shan Men is neutral and has never sided with any of the princes’ parties. Their relationship with the princes isn’t exactly good. As soon as he noticed that the Orange Prince was coming on aggressively, Captain Song decided to be extra cautious. “Liu Shan Men and your circle have never crossed each other. You insist that Liu Shan Men is hiding a thief that stole your records, and are asking me to hand over said person. Don’t you think that’s nonsensical?”
“Nonsensical? You mean to tell me the records aren’t here?”
“Of course not.”
Captain Song then straightened up and sternly said: “Liu Shan Men is heavily guarded. All the thieves in the world run away the moment they see our doors. And yet you’re saying that a thief got in. Isn’t that nonsensical?”
The Orange Prince’s expression changed. He was almost ready to flip out.
I almost laughed out loud seeing his face from the outside.
Captain Song genuinely doesn’t know what happened. We handed the records to Boss Shen as soon as we got it. He came here looking for a head, or heads, before we even managed to come up with a plan. Therefore, Captain Song didn’t know anything about the records.
The Orange Prince however insisted that Captain Song had the records and was merely pretending otherwise to try and get something out of him. The so-called thief mentioned is nothing but another word he’s using to give Captain Song a graceful way out, but what he meant was very obvious. He was basically saying: “You’ve got my records. Don’t push your luck. Hurry up and hand it over or I’ll take action.”
But Captain Song was completely clueless. He had no idea what retarded act the Orange Prince was pulling. Thief? Go look for him in the Ministry of Justice’s prison.
The Orange Prince pointed at him with a disgusted look and said: “Hmph! Fine, you have the right to negotiate the conditions. Tell me what they are, but don’t push it.”
Captain Song didn’t understand… He just felt that the Orange Prince was acting weird today.
“What conditions? Pardon me, I don’t understand what you mean.”
Yeah, he genuinely doesn’t understand.
The Orange Prince laughed coldly and said: “If you don’t speak out now, then you’ll be passing up this great opportunity. Don’t blame me for leaving.”
Captain Song looked at him like “This prince is retarded”, waved his hand and said: “In that case, goodbye.”
“Your barbarian!” The Orange Prince got angry and got up. He rambled on-and-on while pointing at Captain Song’s nose. “How ignorant. How ignorant!!!”
The Orange Prince had never encountered someone so headstrong before, but he couldn’t actually leave either. He hadn’t yet managed to get the record of his bribes. Captain Song however couldn’t be happier to send him off. A prince coming to a government office to arrest a thief? Just what the hell…?
The two jeered at each other again, saying the complete things of one another. Nothing connected to anything, and yet they were able to talk for ages. Not many people in our country are that fluent in Chinese.
Shen Yiren and I lost it laughing outside. Shen Yiren seemed to love the way the Orange Prince and Captain Song were trying to put the other one down and make them submit. She was laughing non-stop.
It then occurred to me that our faces were against each other as we peeked through the small holes. Shen Yiren’s beautiful face that’d put flowers to shame was right next to me. My heart beat uncontrollably sped up.
It was also in that moment that I realised that our rowdy Boss Shen’s face was slightly red. I listened in and could hear that her breathing pattern was erratic. Could it be that she’s not use to interacting with guys and is just pretending to be calm?
Hehehe, I’ve got to test her out. I extended my evil hand out to attack her from the side. Shen Yiren shyly took two steps back. Shen Yiren seemed to reluctantly welcome it, while her eyes couldn’t express her inner perverted thoughts… Keke, that’s just something I took out of one of my porn books.
Why would I court death? Why would I do something that could cost me my job?
I need to solve this case first, and then enjoy a laid back life at a government office. My hand is holding the record which is in my shirt, but Shen Yiren is too close-up to me so I can’t move my hand. I couldn’t speak either, so I forced my hand upwards. That should be enough to let Boss Shen know to step back, right?
I shoved my hand upwards but Shen Yiren didn’t step back. Instead her whole body quivered as though she froze up. I could feel her freeze up next to me, but I didn’t know what happened. But… My hand was still stuck. Hey boss, give me some space. Can’t you just let me get my hand out?
My eyes were focused on what was happening inside so I didn’t see what happened. I shoved my hand upwards again a few times. My hand kept making contact with something soft and plump but was still stuck. Far out, this girl is too strong. Can’t you just let my hand through? Do you not give way when riding a horse carriage? This is why females at the wheel are so…
Hmm? It’s soft?
When I said “soft” to myself, I suddenly remembered the reward from Boss Shen back there.
Coincidentally, my skin felt like it had a sharp gaze on it. I couldn’t take my eyes off the situation inside the small hole. I then looked out the corner of my eyes to look at Shen Yiren who was beside me. It was as I thought. She stopped looking at what was happening inside a while ago. She was glaringly at me furiously. I followed her gaze and there I saw my evil hands!
My hands were now stuck at the bottom of those glorious supple twin valleys, and I just unknowingly shoved them upwards before.
Fuck!! I touched them!!!
Boss, it wasn’t on purpose!! Please don’t kill me!!
I dropped to my knees as though I was a hooligan who’d just offended the boss of a gang, but the death blow never came.
Shen Yiren didn’t hit me. She glared at me with her beautiful face in full view. She took a few deep breaths, hushed me with a cute hand gesture and then returned her eyes to the small hole.
Sh-she’s not going to kill me?
I noticed that her ears were red. My heart couldn’t help but thump harder. Could she have…
I didn’t shove my hands upwards again. Instead I lowered them to another soft spot. Ooohh~ she’s not resisting! Could it be that Boss Shen really is-
“Fuck you, stop fucking touching me!!!!”
Boss Shen finally lost it. She pulled an ink stone out from inside her belt, jumped up and viciously smacked me on the face with it. The smack made a loud sound. I grabbed my face, squatted down and cried in pain…
As promised, here’s the artwork for Ming Feizhen. The author said he’ll be trying to get artwork out on a consistent basis, so I’ll be uploading them when they’re released in the group.
1 Bonus Son-con Chapter
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