Reunion While Performing an Autopsy
“Big brother Ming, is this this eggplant-shaped-injury the cause of death?”
“It’s a light injury, like one you’d get from getting kicked.”
“Oh. Ah! This guy’s mouth stinks. Hmm…. There’s a red mark on his ear.”
“His wife must’ve scratched him.”
Su Xiao and I had a pair of chopsticks each. We flipped parts on the corpses back and forth like we were digging around in a hot-pot. It was the safest and most convenient method since we couldn’t touch the corpses and there was the concern of the corpses being contaminated with poison.
The scared and disgusted voices of those to our sides wouldn’t stop.
“Damn, my eyes!”
“Is there anybody normal at Liu Shan Men?!”
“I can’t take this anymore!”
Those few fellows ran out of the morgue like bees were chasing them. Far out, it’s just an autopsy using chopsticks, is it such a big deal? Look at how obedient Su Xiao is.
A few of the wandering warriors came close to Su Xiao and I. They were afraid of the corpses, but they weren’t as stuck up as the Qilin Guards, and were willing to do this sort of dirty work.
Speaking of being daring, I admire Su Xiao most. He’s like a kid from the back arse of the countryside who’s just arrived in the city and can’t stop looking in every direction. He wasn’t afraid to work and he wasn’t intimidated in the least. The violent young girl lives up to her name…. Even the underlings she fights can’t stop calling her “Female Hero, Female Hero”.
“Big Brother Ming, Zha Pi is gone.”
“I got him to go tell Tang Ye we’re here. Even if he doesn’t contribute, he at least needs to be here so that we can add him to the list of people who contributed.”
Using chopsticks to perform an autopsy worked like magic. Su Xiao and I determined the cause of death for five corpses and continued on to the next ones.
“Hmm? It looks like something got stabbed into the thigh of this person. Is it the weapon used to murder him?”
I took a look, narrowed my eyes, laughed and said: “That’s a…hard-on.”
“Hard-on? What’s hard?”
“What do you think is located there?”
Su Xiao suddenly understood what I meant. He shrieked and then hid behind me. His white face turned red and he said: “Wh-Why didn’t you say so sooner?”
I helplessly replied: “You didn’t ask.”
Su Xiao was still a little curious, so he poked his head out from behind me like a kitten.
Hey! I can see you peeking!
I shook my head. Why am I starting to struggle to identify Su Xiao’s gender. He’s a guy. A guy. A guy….
Su Xiao went completely red after he peeked and said: “D-Does it become like that when you die?”
“Not necessarily. Maybe, if you were killed while you were turned on. This guy must’ve been killed while feeling elated over the fight when he got killed.”
“I-Is that so…? You sure know a lot.” Su Xiao climbed onto my back. He was as light as a feather. He cutely said: “How nice. It would be nice if I could be like that.”
Do you desire strength, young girl?
Or do you want… Kekeke.
Stop thinking about bullshit and get to work. This place seriously reeks!
Su Xiao who was still procrastinating on my back leaned over to grab the chopsticks and lifted up an arm. His eyes lit up as he giddily exclaimed: “Big Brother Ming, look, look. He’s got an injury under his armpit! Did he get stabbed to death? The culprit used a sword, right?”
I reached out with my chopsticks and pointed at the wound: “No, no. Look carefully. A weapon was stabbed into him, but the shape of the wound is rarely seen. It wasn’t created by a sharp sword but a sharp spiky weapon like the ones Emei uses. Therefore…”
Before I could finish speaking, somebody’s voice that unbelievably sounded like donkey having intercourse yelled out.
“Aaaaaahhh! My eyes!! How could such a beautiful girl do such a thing?!”
“Who the heck?” I turned around slightly irritated.
I only saw a few people come in from outside. The one at the forefront must’ve been the one who just cried out. He was a man in his twenties. He was short in stature, limbs were short and looked like another face in the crowd.
“You’re… Oh!” I grabbed my head. I finally recognised him: “Good timing, I’m almost done. Give me some pork shoulder stew, wine and a warm pot. Don’t be too picky as to who the girl who prepares the wine is. Seventeen or eighteen years of age will do.”
“Fuck you, who are you calling a waiter?!”
Isn’t he Liu Zi, the waiter at Dong Po Tavern?
“I’m a Jia level Qilin Guard, Silver Line – Yi Yixian. These two are comrades from the emperor’s security detail.” Yi Yixian who looked like every other waiter in the world mockingly said: “What are you people doing? You dare violate the corpses of warriors of the imperial court using chopsticks?”
“We’re performing an autopsy.”
My tone turned cold. What the hell? He’s not Liu Zi, What a waste of my feelings.
“What are you acting like ‘talking to you is a waste of time’ for, huh? I’ll shred you!”
I ignored him and focused on examining the last corpse. There was no need to examine it. The head and body were separated. The cause of death was decapitation. I collated all the death-wounds I’d seen up until now and silently pondered them.
“You people from Liu Shan Men were the ones that disgusted our men causing them to leave right? How dare you stir up trouble in the main courtyard of the Qilin Guards. And you dare force this maiden into doing this disgusting stuff? Get over here, I’ll teach you a lesson!”
“How petty. We were just examining the corpses.” Su Xiao got off my back, pulled a funny face and asked: “We’re done. What do you want?”
“Miss, we know you didn’t mean to do this. I just want to find out what that punk is after. Hey! Don’t hide behind a lady if you’re tough. You hear me?”
“I’m a guy!”
I stood up, stretched my body out and glanced at them.
“You came here investigate a case, not stir up trouble, right?”
“Cut the bullshit, I’ll…”
I cut him off: “The first corpse got killed by an arrow. There was no poison on the arrow, but the arrow pierced through his head. The internal strength and arm strength of the culprit are all extraordinary. The second corpse got struck with a palm strike on his Hun Men Meridian. The force of the palm strike destroyed his organs causing his death. The third corpse was…”
Yi Yixian’s head was spinning: “Wait, wait! What are you saying all this for?”
“It wasn’t meant for you, but those two.”
The male who was with Yi Yixian suddenly asked: “The way the seven of them died was different, the weapons used were different and there’s more than one culprit. Is that correct, brother?”
A girl asked: “The culprit wasn’t an assassin but an organisation under the Assassin’s Association. Is that what you mean?”
Yi Yixian panicked and said: “Brother Tie, Miss Ye, why are you siding with him?”
With him was a male and female.
The male was dressed neatly and simply. He was tall and exuded a manly aura.
The girl was lean, sweet and mesmerising. She had a bow on her back, but she stood with her back straight. Her posture was very feminine. Her every movement had a way of moving the heart of the people.
One was Iron Blood Hanyi – Tie Hanyi. The other was Silver Bow Falling Leaf – Ye Luo. I met the two of them when I was searching for Orchid Monarch Hollow Bamboo in the capital. Of course, they had passed out at that time so they didn’t remember me. Not only are they skilled fighters, but their ability to think is much higher than the few before and this trash-can before me.
It’s a lot more efficient to discuss the case with them. Further, I don’t know why this assassination organisation is picking a fight with the imperial court, so I want to hear their opinions.
Tie Hanyi formed a fist before him, clasped it with his other and bowed to me. He politely said: “I am a Jia level warrior from the emperor’s security detail, Tie Hanyi. May I ask what your names are?”
Uhm, very good. He doesn’t remember me as I thought.
I kept silent. Su Xiao’s eyes were glimmering. He seemed to enjoy this pugilistic-world-type event: “We’re from Liu Shan Men! Hello, I’m Su Xiao.”
I laughed and said: “Greetings, I’m Ming Feizhen.”
“Ming Feizhen?” Ye Luo frowned. Her long legs came over my way as she stared at me with suspicion and asked: “Have I met you somewhere before?”
Uhm, very good. She too as I thought…
This is different to the script I was given!!
1 Bonus Son-con Chapter
Thank you for all your generous donations, we have reached the goal, and I will now get to translating the bonus chapter.