Martial King’s Retired Life – Vol. 3 Ch. 31



Bro, You Got Cucked

“What’s it got to do with me?” I waved my hand and added, “This is an issue between you leaders. There’s nothing wrong with Captain Long going directly to you.”

Ha, I have to say that I did a magnificent job finding a scapegoat.

Song Ou and Long Zaitian made eye-contact and it looked like Song Ou started shaking. Song Ou has been acting like he became a pussy ever since he screwed himself over in Xuan Wu hall and the emperor ordered him to duel Long Zaitian. Just seeing Long Zaitian scared him.

Long Zaitian chuckled coldly and took a few steps forward. As he stepped forwards, ten Qilin Guards followed behind him. Long Zaitian walked straight past us and up to Song Ou. From his perspective, we’re nothing more than lackeys carrying out a task, while Song Ou was the mastermind.

“Nice, Captain Song. I underestimated you.” Long Zaitian had a tall physique, but Song Ou wasn’t short. In fact, their heights were relatively even. However, Song Ou bent over slightly when Long Zaitian walked over to him, clearly showing that he was beneath him. Long Zaitian’s gaze was aggressive. He continued to chuckle slowly. He then raised his hand up and slapped Song Ou across his face. The moment his hand hit his face, there was a loud smack sound.

“Aren’t you top shit? Huh? Didn’t you want to remove our plaque? Huh?”

“Captain Long… you, you……”

Song Ou’s face was bright red like it could bleed, but he didn’t bite back or strike back.

“Alright, let’s see how you’re going to teach me a lesson. Bring it. Bring it on.”

Long Zaitian sounded like he was lecturing a three year old. Moreover, he poked Song Ou on the forehead with every sentence. His finger was rough and hard, and he didn’t hesitate to put strength behind it. After three pokes, it looked like Song Ou’s forehead lost a layer of skin. The constables who watched it unfold started to get angry.

“Captain Long, you and I are both ministers of the imperial court. Sh-Show some respect.”

Hey! Brother Bastard, your head is still red!

Long Zaitian didn’t quit with his insults.

“Stop!”

The high pitched voice of a female came from the door. Over ten warriors surrounding the door then went flying into the air like somebody sent them flying out with a palm strike.

“Eh? Is boss back?”

Boss Shen came out from Liu Shan Men’s courtyard dressed in her lake-green long dress. Did she come back from the palace? She sure is quick.

I could only see her sending her palms left and right, leaving the warriors by the door completely helpless. It was my first time seeing Boss Shen fight someone. I never expected her skills to emphasise fine and minute movements when she’s usually a generous and bold person. Every move was aimed precisely at her opponent’s weak point, as if she were looking for one-hit-wins. That’s the descendent of a famous family for you.

Boss Shen shouted: “Everybody stop! Captain Long, aren’t you worried that his majesty will punish you for causing a ruckus at Liu Shan Men?”

Long Zaitian knew who was coming with just a glance. He turned happy and was all smiles: “So Miss Shen has come personally! Wow, stop!” He immediately ordered his men to stop, and the Qilin Guards quickly got behind Long Zaitian.

“Yiren! Y-You’re back?”

Song Ou was still pathetic. He quickly hid behind Boss Shen.

Come on man, don’t make your wife tank.

Long Zaitian on the other hand adjusted his clothing and rubbed his hands together as if the person pushing Song Ou around was someone else. He giggled and then leaned over.

“Miss Shen, you’ve become even prettier in the two days we haven’t met. I… I… Hey, where’s my fan?!” Someone from behind the pink Tang Bohu immediately handed him his scholar’s fan. Long Zaitian handed it to her with two hands.

“This is the fan Wen Zhengming once used. It can be said to be a very rare item. I heard that you like antiques. Please accept my gift.”

Boss Shen gave him the cold shoulder and didn’t take it. Long Zaitian reacted quickly. Since Boss Shen didn’t accept the fan, he quickly pulled his hands back, pretending that he was just bowing. He even whipped opened his fan as if it were his original intent. He fanned himself several times and then stuttered: “Ehehe, it’s hot, so I’m just trying to cool myself.

Everybody watch out, Wen Zhengming is about to jump out of his coffin!*

Boss Shen coldly said: “Do you have any other business, Captain Long?”

“It’s as the rumours say. It’s as the rumours say.” Long Zaitian looked completely captivated. His rage from before had completely vanished, “MIss Shen, you are beautiful and nice. I have admired you for a long time!”

“OWW!”

Long Zaitian suddenly cried out like he got possessed by a ghost. What the heck? Is he getting turned on or something?!

“My heart hurts!”

Long Zaitian steadied himself, focused his energy qi to his dantian, and continued shouting like a dog in heat: “When my lover arrived, the willows swayed in the winds. My breath was taken away by our meeting.” Long Zaitian continued to recite the poem.

He… he was reading a damn love poem!!

He was reciting a love poem right in front of Song Ou!

Hey! Bro, you’re getting cucked!

Song Ou went green in the face and then pale as a sheet of paper before turning completely red. He started huffing and puffing, quivering with anger. He clenched his fists in an alternating manner as though he wouldn’t be able to stop the blood rushing to his head otherwise.

Boss Shen was completely red in the face as though she was extremely embarrassed.

Whoa! Boss Shen actually turned shy!!

Song Ou froze up in place like he got struck by lightning and was reduced to charcoal.

Normally, I would intervene since the matter had come to this, but……

Something was wrong. The more I watch, the more I felt that something was wrong.

The young girl in the lake-green shirt didn’t look like Boss Shen.

While she resembled her, she somewhat lacked Boss Shen’s gentleness. She looked a little stiffer. Boss Shen overflowed with youth. While they were huge, they were very perky. I remember they were both soft and perky. Let me make an analogy: It’s like how I saw people in the Western regions use a light water pouch for grape wine which made it overflow with sweetness and extremely slippery. It would never be as tough as that.

Moreover, my eyes tell me that not only are they smaller, her peaks aren’t as voluptuous, soft and beautiful…

Huh? Since when did I acquire such profound knowledge about women? Have I read “Lihua Chronicles” too many times?

Whatever the case, this girl’s facial features looked softer than Boss Shen’s, and she didn’t have Boss Shen’s heroic and domineering aura. Wait a second. I seem to recall seeing this girl somewhere before.

Wait a minute… Don’t tell me…

“Young master Kuang?”

When he heard me mutter his name, he immediately looked at me with his eyes wide.

Whoa! Are you actually dressing up as a girl to pretend to be your sister?!

Are you serious?!

I looked at Song Ou and then at Long Zaitian.

You two mistook somebody else for the girl that you two supposedly like?! You two were even at each other’s throats for her! Could you two be any less embarrassing?!

Long Zaitian reached his hand out towards young master Kuang after he finished reciting his poem: “Could I have the honour of holding your hand, miss?”

His dirty and rough hands slowly reached out towards young master Kuang. However, young master Kuang isn’t his sister, so he had a relatively softer personality. He looked like he wanted to dodge, but was stopped by Song Ou from behind.

Song Ou seemed to be scared shitless by young master Kuang’s shy look before. He stuttered: “Yi-Yiren… How could you and he……” He looked as though he had lost a part of his soul.

Sigh, it can’t be helped.

Standing at the side, I shouted at the top of my lungs: “Hey, that’s enough from you, take your hand away.”

Long Zaitian had no choice but to take his hands away after what I shouted.

Young master Kuang quickly took three steps back to hide from the awkward situation before him back like a rabbit that got frightened. He then looked at me to signal that he was thankful.

Don’t worry.

Don’t fret, young Miss Shen, your sister’s most loyal subordinate, the gallant knight in shining armour shall take to the frontlines!

Glossary

*The joke is meant to mean that Long Zaitian is so ridiculous and making Wen Zhengming look bad, so Wen Zhengming would be so pissed that he’d come back to life and come strangle him.

Lihua Chronicles is a modern Wuxia story.

 

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